“Erotic Fantasies”
By Dr. Sonia Blasco
I am the only woman among several men. One is the best lover, another overwhelms me with his caresses, yet other possesses me wildly. Fantasies have no limits. They are like mental theater which triggers physical sensations of pleasure causing the body to respond as if the scene were taking place in reality. Muses of the erotic life, they are capable of transforming the routine into never-ending newness in such a way that you can quickly change your lover’s identity, their physical endowments, their numbers or even their genders, throwing excitement and arousal into previously unimaginable places. A sort of rough draft, a dress rehearsal for our bodies and their particular appetites: a magical world in which we can make mistakes and try again whenever we like and without the scrutiny of others.
Everything can happen in this private sphere; nobody is hurt, no one is unfaithful. Confusing fantasy with reality only takes place in dreams. Your mind is powerful. Inspire it without guilt; let it grow without fear. Your imagination takes place only in your private world. You own your fantasies. Sharing them is a risk I do not recommend.
Both the origin and consequence of sexual impulse, fantasies encourage desire and are most present when the intensity is at its peak. But at any degree, and whether they occur spontaneously or to increase sexual pleasure, men and women fantasize both during lovemaking and outside of that act. According to Kinsey, author of the famous report which bears his name, more than 70 percent of people fantasize while making love.
The most common male fantasies involve voluptuousness in one or more strangers, watching or being watched, dominating or being dominated, and they are directly focused on genital contact and penetrating the object of their favorite fantasy. It is also common for powerful men accustomed to giving orders to become submissive in their fantasies and to enjoy a woman who imposes her own desires upon him with a bit of playful aggression.
The most frequent fantasies among women include erotic scenes, changing her lover’s identity, adding erotic abilities and preludes, being with more than one man, making him rough or reckless, or imagining him as one or more women. Another, more modern fantasy is seeing yourself forced to submit to a stranger who orders you to obey under threat of punishment. Things are changing every day in the 21st century, and women’s fantasies are becoming more and more about total pleasure and enjoyment. The woman is no longer the object of the fantasy; rather, the subject of her own erotic desires, the master of her own full range of potential.
Ultimately, fantasies are a panoramic display on which can project ourselves in new and different ways for every occasion… erotically, that is!
And that’s why I want to suggest to you readers—both men and women—that you take a little trip: block out a half hour of time, disconnect the phone, and open the doors to your fantasy.
(Dr. Blasco is a medical doctor, psychoanalyst and sexologist and the author of Camino al Orgasmo and Menopausia, una etapa vital.)
dsb@doctorasoniablasco.com
